I can do hard things!

I feel like this should be tatted to my forehead. 

In big bold pink letters "I CAN DO HARD THINGS"...

That way when I feel like I can't do them, I remember that my life has been blessed beyond measure! So when I start feeling that dark cloud of self pity come lumbering into "Victoria Land", I need to open my mental closet of blessings and start counting them.

I am often not very good at this. Something can always be better, bigger, or more sparkly. Maybe that is the dancer in me, EVERYTHING needs to be glittery. I often wonder if I was born into a box of glitter, it would explain A LOT! But who really wakes up and says "Wow I Have the Best That This World Has To Offer!"... Not this girl. 

But as my life changes, and I grow up I have realized a number of different things.... 

1. Dropping a newly birthed baby into a box of glitter sounds like a disgusting mess... Mental picture of that is revolting. 

2. I never ever ever ever ever ever... ever want to be Relief Society President. Not because it isn't a wonderful selfless calling, but because it is the one calling that everyone thinks they can do it better than the person doing it... And you have to smile a lot... And I don't smile (unless I am in front of a camera). 

3. No matter what trials I go through in life, or what mistakes I've made/ will make. I CAN DO HARD THINGS. 

I am not 100% sure if it is because I was raised by a US Marine, or because I was raised by a Marine Corps wife, but I am one tough cookie. I have proven to myself that I can look into the mirror at the end of the day and know that I didn't just make it through the day-  I THRIVED today.  I woke up, my beautiful child woke up, my husband has a job, my car has gas in it, and there is food in the house to eat. Maybe, if I am lucky, tonight my husband will take me to a movie and hold my hand :)

I don't need to have the most beautiful home, I don't need to drive a BMW, and I don't need to put make up on today... But today I did make a beautiful Fall wreath (I'll post pictures later), I ate a well balanced lunch with the most adorable Red headed Fox you'll ever meet, and I kissed my husband before he left for work. What more can a girl ask for?!? All the other stuff can just be "other stuff"... Tomorrow we're going to downsize our life even more, and create a little more wiggle room in our monthly budget... frustrating, but important! Again, I CAN DO HARD THINGS... 

Also, I can metaphorically be born into a box of glitter.... And in my mind, It was a glorious event, nothing like what actual childbirth is really like ;)

Two years

Today marks the two year anniversary of the day I became a mother!

Sophie Noel would be two years old today! The past two years have brought so many blessings into my life. Starting with her sweet spirit that was given to me for the very shortest of times, but my journey with her has taught me so much about WHO I am. I can't express those thoughts in paragraph form, so I'll just bullet them :)

• I have always believed in the Eternal Family principal that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints teaches, but I never appreciated it in its fullness... Now I know it is one of the simple and beautiful truths that Heavenly Father has given to us! In my darkest grieving moments, this is the light that always brought me back to the present life I live. 
• I guess you can say my life has been pretty easy! I had a wonderful experience in high school, I had two loving parents who not only loved me, but loved each other. I moved away for college and met my amazing Husband, we had a beautiful wedding, followed by the joys of buying a home. Very shortly after our wedding we found out that we were pregnant! So up until the birth and death of Sophie my life was pretty "picturesque". Having her taught me to accept Heavenly Father's plan, and to have the faith to follow it!
• By going through my "Sophie" experience, it helped me view motherhood as a privilege, rather than a right. 
• It is still teaching me (everyday) to have patients, and to trust in my Father in Heaven.

There are so many things I could say on this post. So many lessons I've learned, and so many "ahhha" moments. I love being a mother, I am so grateful for the trust that Heavenly Father puts in me everyday to parent his children. Sophie was needed elsewhere, I have had to accept that fact. I KNOW that one day I'll hold her again, until then I have a unique relationship that extends this world we live in. My love for her transcends the vale, I know that she loves me as well. I feel her fearless, outspoken, knowledgeable light all around me.

 If she were here I would've woken her up singing happy birthday, holding her chunky little hands , and looking into a face much like mine, feeling the love that I feel for her right now. Why I was given this challenge, I wont know until I can ask God himself. Until that moment I'll hold onto my faith, and dream of the daughter that awaits me in the next life. How blessed I am to be a mother of three children of God! I love my babies, and the blessings they bring into my life! 

Happy Birthday Sophie!!

Baby Names

I always find it slightly interesting people's reactions to the names we chose for our new family members. I am always shocked when people actually share a negative opinion about my unborn child's name. Usually it is just a name that THEY have a negative experience with. I do always wonder what they think will be accomplished by sharing their negative thoughts? Usually I just smile and try to laugh it off. But what people don't realize is that it is actually offensive, and that in-spite of my "non-conventional" names, I pour a lot of time, prayer, and consideration into each name that I give to my babies. I also get perturbed when people use the excuse "well I am just being honest".

First: I don't recall ever asking your opinion, so please don't feel the need to express every thought that crosses into your mind about my child. Second: When did honesty become a disguise for being RUDE! When did it become OK to tell a mother something about her unborn child that is anything but positive?

So to clear up any confusion about my children's names here is all the meanings, and reasons behind their names....

Sophie Noel: 

Sophie is a Greek name meaning "light", and "wisdom".
Noel is a French name meaning "Christ"

 Our daughter's original due date was December 26th, but according to Heavenly Father's plans she came months before. But since she was going to be our Christmas baby, we wanted to give her a Christmas name.
We also felt inspired on this name because, when you put both names together it means "Light of Christ". She really is the Light of Christ in our lives, and I can't wait until we're reunited for time and all Eternity.

Fox Connor:

Fox is an American name, and its definition is that of a literal Fox. "A cunning and intelligent animal".
Connor is an Irish name, it's meaning is "strong-willed" and "Wise"

When I was a little girl I loved to read books by Roald Dahl, he has one book titled "Fantastic Mr. Fox". This book was one of my favorites because of the characted Mr. Fox, he was such a loyal friend and family member. He also was a funny character to read! One day my husband and I were throwing around baby names and I said "How about "Fantastic Mr. Fox"". Kyle followed that by "Fox", I like that. From that moment Fox has lived up to his name, to include the beautiful red hair! His middle name is a family name from my father's side. I like the way it flowed, and Fox again lived up to the meaning of his name, being VERY strong-willed.

Ryker Jude:

Ryker is a Danish name meaning "Strong Power"
Jude is a Hebrew name meaning " Give thanks" and "praise"

We first heard the name Ryker in the books my husband and I are reading. The character wasn't overly impressive (just a minor character), but we loved the way his name sounded when you said it with Fox. We realize it is also the same name as a prison Island in New York, Rikers Island. But it would make sense why a prison would have such a strong name! You need a strong building to keep the nasty evil people away from the mass population of people. I hope that Ryker will live up to his strong name, and be able to keep the devil and his minions out of his (and his family's) life. The name Jude is a male version of the name Judith (or Judy). This was the name of Kyle's step-mom, who raised Kyle. Kyle loved her very much and we wanted to honor her memory by naming a child after her! So I can't wait to meet my little Ryker Jude, I know that he will stand up to his name!

I feel very inspired about each one of my children's names. I know that Heavenly Father gave me stewardship over their sweet spirits, part of  my responsibility as their mother is to give them a name that MEANS something. I feel as though I have accomplished that task.

So if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!

Still trying to catch up!

Well Sunday I went to the ER, the flu... Got an IV and an ultrasound (BTW we're pregnant... again), everything is ok. But the ER Doctor found a low lying placenta issue. I am supposed to take it easy until my OB can look at my womb. Anyways, while I am taking it easy, I guess I'll catch up on the rest of 2012!

January:

Happy new years! We rang in 2012 with the Gallini family. We didn't set anything on fire, but we sure had a lot of fun with the fire works. Of course we played "The Game of Things". Good memories y'all!!

Oh my gosh, look at my Fox! He is so adorable, I can't even stand it!!!

Later on in January, we went to my Aunt and Uncle's house and went to the zoo! It was Fox's first time to go. We had a blast!

February-

 it was uneventful. But we had fun with our Valentine Day photo shoot!

March-

  

So march was again, kinda boring. I started school, I did really well that semester! But one fun day was when Kyle took work off and we had dental work done in San Antonio (that wasn't the fun part). After we walked around the Temple. It was great just to spend time with Kyle! I love that man so much!

Fox started sitting by himself. He also is so adorable. He started to get his "big boy face", I think this is when he started looking more like a little boy instead of a baby. He too, like his father, makes me fall in love with him over and over again! Every single day he makes me laugh, and he brings so much joy to my family. He was totally blessed with the gift of humor! 

Fox also started using his big boy car seat!

We of course celebrated St. Patrick's day! My little Irish red head is so cute!

April-

Easter morning! Little man woke up with some CRAZY hair. So we put a hat on him's head!

Easter Sunday was wonderful. I need a tripod so I can take family pictures... But by the end of church Fox was EXHAUSTED!

We did Easter lunch at the ranch. Grandmother got us a pinata, fox loved it!! We had a wonderful day, and everyone was full and happy!

Nothing beats an out door nap!

May & June- So I personally didn't take any pictures! But we were so busy. We finished up school, and started to enjoy our summer! Fox and I went to the East coast to see my mom and dad... That was a lot of fun! My brother came home with us and he sqent quite a bit of time here in TX. So sorry there is a lack of pictures! I kinda sucked these last two months!

July- It was such a big month for our family! Fox Connor turned 1 year old! It was so much fun to celebrate his birth and his sweet personality. The backlash from the party is for a different post- I'll just say I learned a lot ... But over all it was fun. We had good food, and amazing family and friends there to celebrate with us! Of course, Fox was adorable!!!

By far his favorite gift ( a close 2nd was the play phone he got)

But he totally loves this guitar, and the people who got it for him!!

Fox with Preston (they are only 1 month apart). He was getting hyped up on his Great Grandmother's lemon aid!

Opening more gifts!!

Phoenix was getting her nose picked by mommy... nice. She will love this picture in 15 years. 

Fox was not too impressed with the smashing of Buzz Light year!

He was very distraught. 

But Preston was totally diggin' it!

AHH, A much better picture of Phoenix! She also was loving the pinata too!

We finally got to his favorite part; the cake! He totally got into the cake and loved every single moment!!

Fox was sharing with Angelene!

A few days after his birthday party, Fox got his very first hair cut! I thought that I was going to be sad. But I actually was really fine! Fox did really well and he sat VERY still for the hair dresser.

Half way done.

You know we Fohawked it! HE IS SO STINKING CUTE, I CANNOT STAND IT!

Enjoying his lolly pop! I love my big one year old!

Here is a favorite from his 1 year old birthday pictures!

He is so adorable, funny, sweet, feisty, expressive, and talented!! I love him! 

At some point during the May/June time frame I found out that I was expecting again! SURPRISE!!!! 

Baby Boy Ryker Jude Stephens will join our family in January 2013. 

p.s. While I was doing this post Fox is halowing like a wolf. He cracks me up. Also while I was barfing my brains out his weekend he would growl at me. This kid is too much!

<3 

Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving

So I guess I didn't take very many pictures during Thanksgiving! I was probably to busy stuffing my face, and enjoying the whole family! It was so nice to be at my Great Grandmother's home and spend time with Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, Kyle, and of course my Foxy man!

Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011-

Yes I realize its August of 2012, but I suck at keeping up with the blogg. I also wish it was the holiday season!!

Grandaddy Ohrah and his Fox!

Ward Christmas party!

He is a very sly little Fox, and isn't that the cutest outfit EVER!!

My seester!

Mom and Grandmother

Grandmother and her Fox (notice the flying binky!)

Most adorable couple EVER! Fox was putting the moves on Brooklyn!

Very good friends of ours! I love these ladies!

Napping with my Fox!

Santa brought us a lot of goodies! Fox got a HUGE bear (that he sleeps with every night) and a bunch of blocks!

My sister and I <3

I do love these woman! (that is Fox's other girlfriend, Calista)

Since Christmas day was on a Sunday we only opened two gifts each that morning. After church we had lunch and opened the rest of the gifts! It was nice to have make up on... and look normal. My adorable parents..

My brothers and sisters! I am so grateful that I was born with 5 other best friends!

My little family opening gifts, we video taped the WHOLE thing! It was awesome!

Over all Christmas 2011 was a HUGE success. I love my family, friends, and the Christmas spirit. It was so wonderful to go home and spend time with those who will love me unconditionally, forever and ever. Even though my husband thinks baby eating is ok (nice pic hunny), I love him to the moon and back. The only condition to marrying him was; I had to be able to spend Christmas with my family. He willingly left his own family, to fulfill my request. Christmas 2012 will be the first EVER I have not been with my mom and dad, but Ryker Jude Stephens will be joining us early January. The greatest gift we've ever been given was each other.

Merry Late-Early-Almost Christmas