B-B-B-Bell Bell and the Reds a sandy adventure.

Four years people, it has been four years since my family has gone on a vacation that didn't include a trip to North Carolina. 

Not that I wouldn't love to see all my NC family friends, but it felt REALLY awesome to pick a place on the map and just go. Not because we had to be there, but because we wanted to be there. 

Our family on the beach. We stayed at a hotel right on the beach so that the tiny people could take naps as needed during the day without interrupting everyone's beach fun.

When my husband waltzed into our house Thursday after work he told me that he had a long weekend. It had not even dawned on me that Monday was Columbus day! YES! 'We're getting out of Austin', was my first thought, and my original plan was to get cheap Allegiant Air tickets to Las Vegas, but because of the music festival in Austin, and a holiday weekend the tickets were REALLY expensive. 

My purely Joyful child. Ryker loved the sand. 

So we decided to take a drive down to Galveston Beach. It was the first time my husband and kiddos had been, and the first time I have been back there since 2002. We really had a fantastic time, just the five of us. Kyle's mom and step-dad live about 45 minuets from Galveston, so they met us for dinner Saturday night. Our weekend was full of fantastic adventures in the sand, pool, pleasure pier, and a very fun trip to Moody Gardens. Mix all that goodness with a side of sea food and a lot of candy, it made out for a pretty good weekend!

The big brother. Fox just wanted in the water with 'the sharks'. 

I will forever be grateful to my Father in Heaven for the jobs that Kyle and I have, we are very fortunate to be able to provide in abundance.  I am also grateful to have such awesome kiddos. Fox and Ryker keep us laughing 24/7. They're probably not going to remember this last weekend, but I will, and those memories will be cherished for the rest of my life. Bellamy is just a lump (a very cute, precious, special lump... but a lump none the less), so we just adored her the whole time. Not bad for a spur-of-the-moment trip to the beach. 

My heart, soul, and purest joy. #mommyjoy

Their bond extends far before this life and into the great eternities.

My serious princess. 

Went for an hour long boat ride around Galveston. 

It was such and adventure, and I vow to do it a least twice a year!

The War on Breast

Boobs. That is the topic of today's blog... Female breast. 

Not really, kind of, and yet- not.

 We're talking all things the war on breastfeeding and the mommy shaming for choosing not to breastfeed. 

When I started my journey into motherhood I just assumed I would breastfeed. I had watched my mom breastfeed all five of my siblings without an issue, so for me I never even considered that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't want to, even worse, I never pictured the day that I couldn't breastfeed my child. 

When Fox was born I was really excited to be that awesome crunchy mommy that gave her child 'the best' for a solid year, maybe even longer. I was surrounded by moms who breastfed like it was no big deal, who all hung up their super hero capes on years of nursing careers. So if they could do it, why couldn't I? 

The day Fox was born I latched him on that first time feeling so proud of myself, vowing to never let 'that poison' touch his lips. Forty-eight hours later after my poor sweet baby lost over a pound and a half, and cried himself into a tizzy, I gave him a sample of 'that poison'. 

I felt like I was a failure.

I wasn't giving my child the very best, he deserved the very best. I was going to face being 'that mom' that formula fed her baby instead of giving him liquid gold. I was going to lose friends who saw woman like me as a lazy parent. In the midst of my pity party I failed to recognize that he was content for the first time since his birth. 

I had just assumed that there was something wrong with my milk that the fault was all mine. For the next two weeks I nursed my baby, pumped, fed my baby that pumped milk, and ate WAY to much oatmeal. I continued to stress myself out and totally run myself into the ground, all for the sake of looking like a super hero mommy.

 All so that I wouldn't be mommy judged. 

Weeks later we found out our little guy had been born with a UTI, which prevented him from adequately gaining weight. At this point my milk had dwindled to almost nothing, I couldn't support his needs any longer. So I started to supplement with formula and nurse him to no avail, Fox was still not gaining weight and recovering from his UTI. I had run myself ragged, my fear of being looked down on as a mother, and my sadness that my body had failed me kicked my Postpartum depression into full gear. Everything and everyone around me suffered. 

All because society had made me think that formula feeding was bad. 

Fox at four days old, he was fed from the breast and the bottle and he is now a very smart happy healthy 3 year old.

 Flash forward to now. I've had three children, I've breastfed, formula fed, goats milk fed, and did a combination of feedings. I had to allow myself to set aside the war over motherhood, and the stigma of feeding my infant anything other than human breastmilk, and do what was BEST for my child. Because sometimes, breast isn't best. 

Ryker was breastfed, formula fed, and then thrived on goats milk (a blog for another time).

There are so many woman who try their very hardest to feed from the breast, and can not. There are woman who have more postpartum issues trying to breastfeed, and end up suffering needlessly because they're afraid to put their mental health needs before 'what is best for their baby'. Some woman just don't want to breastfeed, and that is OK too! 

Bellamy is breastfed right now, but I wouldn't hesitate to give her formula if she needed it. 

There shouldn't be a war on what type of nipple I put in my child's mouth. So the next time you see a woman nursing, bottle feeding, mixing formula, or pumping, give her a smile. Motherhood is stressful enough without society making it harder. No matter what that mommy is feeding her baby, she is sleep deprived, emotional, and just trying to do her best! Support her and love her because she loves that baby, and is simply just trying to do her best. 

Chevron Pink and Grey Ergobaby carrier

I have tried a number of different baby carriers, none have ever fit me very comfortably.

With my first child I was totally a Moby Wrap user. It was comfortable, and fit okay. But in the Texas summer (Fox was a July baby) I was miserable and couldn't ever use it outside. Also, the more children I had the more I needed to be able to quickly pull on a carrier that didn't need a ton of adjusting. For me, I was also constantly having to adjust the wrap to keep it tight. That may have been a user error, but if I couldn't put it on and trust it, what is the purpose in using it? I also could only use the carrier while my babies were little, once they got into the crawling age my kids didn't like being wrapped so tightly to my body.

With our second child I used a less expensive carrier by Infantino. The carrier was also OK, but fit my husband much better than it fit me. With Ryker (born in January) the heat wasn't a major issue, but this particular carrier was far too bulky for my short build. I made it work, but was grateful when our tiny guy didn't want to be carried anymore.

When I found out that I was expecting our third I knew that I would need a carrier that REALLY worked well for my build, the crazy Texas temperature, and how active I am during my daily routine. I waited until Bellamy was born before I invested in another carrier. At about 5 weeks postpartum I went to Babies R Us and tried on several different carriers. I walked around the store with it on, and made sure I was comfortable, and the baby was comfortable. I also needed to be able to get the carrier on correctly without any assistance.

The Ergo won. 

I've used this carrier for the last two weeks and I am totally in love with it! Since Bell is still so tiny we're also using the infant insert, which we also love. She gets into the carrier and instantly falls asleep and stays asleep until she is pulled out again.
 It fits my build so well. I am very short waist-ed and it doesn't feel like it is too big on me. But other members of my family have used it and said that it fit them well too. While we were out at the pumpkin patch my sister carried my 33 lbs. Fox on her back while we went through he Texas maze and I nursed Bellamy. She said it distributed his weight evenly across her back. I also can get into the carrier by myself, in a hurry. 

The only dislike I have is how 'quilted' the infant insert is. I feel like Bellamy gets too hot while she is wearing it. She doesn't seem to mind, so I guess it isn't a huge issue. 

Over all I give this gadget a 4 star rating. 

Pumpkin Patching 2014

Every year our family kicks off the fall season with a trip to Sweet Berry farms. Over the years it has been such a wonderful family event where we take cute fall pictures and pick our year's pumpkins.

2013

2011

2012

2012

The first year we went we went with another family. The next few years we went with just our little family. This year Kyle had to work crazy overtime during the month of September, but luckily my extended family lives close by. So we missed Kyle, but we still made wonderful memories that I will cherish forever!

2014

My Aunt Kathy, a Broher, and Fox 

My Uncle Stan and I hand sanitizing after using the biffy's

My dad, brother, and I after stuffing our scarecrow 

2014

Barrel train, Ryker was not a fan

In the corn maze with my mom, sister, aunt, and the kidlets. Yes, mom and sister help with the baby wearing. 

We picked out pumpkins, jumped on a 'pillow', ate yummy food, went through a Texas size corn maze, and the boys rode a barrel train. It was a lovely day, unseasonably cool, which I was so grateful for. Hopefully next year my hunky husband will be able to join us again.

Camping trip 2014

This last weekend we went on a camp out with our dear friends outside of San Antonio, Texas. While we had every intention to go camping at least once a year, it has been two years since our last camping adventure. Our last camp out the H family was a brand new family of four, the W family was post law school and a family of three, and our family was pre-Kyle's injury, Master's degree, Ryker, and Bellamy. Our little families have grown rapidly over the last two years, and many wonderful changes have also brought us to where we are today.

Not the best picture ever... Mrs. W was feeling this one. Look at all our tiny babies. Mrs. H had JUST had little boy H, Mrs. W was fresh from law school pre-bar exam, and I was six months pregnant with Ryker. 

Cooking for the masses, I was grateful that Mrs. H did most the cooking this time since Bellamy is only six weeks old. 

Fox and little girl H are still sweet friends, Love these babies. Little girl W was not even crawling yet, but she is also hangin' with these crazies now that they're all THREE (or close enough)! 

I quickly realized that not only do we now need to camp with a pull behind flat bed trailer (to haul all our stuff), but that the days of peacefully relaxing the whole day away outside the tents while watching our sweet little off-springs quietly play are gone, long long gone.

This doesn't include all the firewood, big ice chest, and multiple last minuet things we grabbed from the ranch. So much stuff, and I even packed 'light' for each person. In the end we still had everything we needed/wanted. But it was a lot.

Let me clarify we had a fantastic time, how could you not endlessly be entertained by our Hodge-podge group of hilarious characters. But every single one of the seven kids under the age of three were teaching us how to be better camping parents.  We had a few mishaps, like Fox drinking lighter fluid, that trick of his was one for the books. Or little H boy grabbing a hot coal off the dutch oven (he was fine, scared us more than really hurt him, thankfully). Or Ryker randomly going on adventures by himself. They sure did keep us on our toes. But to see them enjoy each other's company, nature, and the massive amounts of camping junk food, was so very worth it!

Fox and little girl H, still sweet friends, we're hoping for ginger curly haired babies one day... A long time from now post missions.

Little girl W2, she is a new addition since we last were camping. She is the sweetest little thing, so happy to just be!

Ryker is also a new addition since our last adventure in tents, he likes to play in  the dirt and go on solo hikes. He is very independent, but also likes to play with little boy W, they're going to cause big problems one day. 

Our almost addition, baby boy H, can't wait till he is here!

Little girl W was just 10 months old when we were last out in nature. She has grown into the most intelligent almost three year old ever. 

Bellamy is just six weeks old and already has her first camping trip in the books! She did so well and is such an mild tempered princess!

Little boy H is Ryker's partner in crime. This cherubic little toe head can run faster than any two year old I know! I have Olympic hopes for him!

Just to clarify Mrs. H did bring healthy snacks for the kids, she was far better prepared than I was.

Example of Mrs. H's cooking! We had cinnamon rolls cooked in hallowed out oranges. AMAZING! So delish, I had two. 

I am so very grateful that I have woman (and their spouses) who help me be a better wife, mother, friend, and woman. These ladies I know will love me at my very best and very worst, and give me the advice I need to hear even if it is difficult for them to say. They make me a better person. We all need people like that in our lives. I'm grateful that we took the time to go camping, giving our selves time to slow down and just exist in the beautiful nature our Heavenly Father has given to us.

Mrs. W, now a fantastic lawyer, mother, wife, and a best friend. I have been forever blessed by the solid advice this woman gives. She isn't afraid to tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. 

Mrs. H is due in just a short six weeks with baby boy W, eek I can't wait for him to be here! She is all things love and compassion, she is so patient with her kids, a wonderful example of true Christ like love for everyone. I want to be like her when I grow up!

Where will we be in our lives the next time we all go camping? Hopefully it isn't in two years, but sooner, and without any new fruit from my loins.

The W family couldn't spend the night so they missed the group photo. But our group keeps joyfully growing, our littles aren't so little anymore, and the new additions are fresh from Heaven. Isn't life grand. We're all so blessed.