Boobs. That is the topic of today's blog... Female breast.
Not really, kind of, and yet- not.
We're talking all things the war on breastfeeding and the mommy shaming for choosing not to breastfeed.
When I started my journey into motherhood I just assumed I would breastfeed. I had watched my mom breastfeed all five of my siblings without an issue, so for me I never even considered that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't want to, even worse, I never pictured the day that I couldn't breastfeed my child.
When Fox was born I was really excited to be that awesome crunchy mommy that gave her child 'the best' for a solid year, maybe even longer. I was surrounded by moms who breastfed like it was no big deal, who all hung up their super hero capes on years of nursing careers. So if they could do it, why couldn't I?
The day Fox was born I latched him on that first time feeling so proud of myself, vowing to never let 'that poison' touch his lips. Forty-eight hours later after my poor sweet baby lost over a pound and a half, and cried himself into a tizzy, I gave him a sample of 'that poison'.
I felt like I was a failure.
I wasn't giving my child the very best, he deserved the very best. I was going to face being 'that mom' that formula fed her baby instead of giving him liquid gold. I was going to lose friends who saw woman like me as a lazy parent. In the midst of my pity party I failed to recognize that he was content for the first time since his birth.
I had just assumed that there was something wrong with my milk that the fault was all mine. For the next two weeks I nursed my baby, pumped, fed my baby that pumped milk, and ate WAY to much oatmeal. I continued to stress myself out and totally run myself into the ground, all for the sake of looking like a super hero mommy.
All so that I wouldn't be mommy judged.
Weeks later we found out our little guy had been born with a UTI, which prevented him from adequately gaining weight. At this point my milk had dwindled to almost nothing, I couldn't support his needs any longer. So I started to supplement with formula and nurse him to no avail, Fox was still not gaining weight and recovering from his UTI. I had run myself ragged, my fear of being looked down on as a mother, and my sadness that my body had failed me kicked my Postpartum depression into full gear. Everything and everyone around me suffered.
All because society had made me think that formula feeding was bad.
 |
Fox at four days old, he was fed from the breast and the bottle and he is now a very smart happy healthy 3 year old. |
Flash forward to now. I've had three children, I've breastfed, formula fed, goats milk fed, and did a combination of feedings. I had to allow myself to set aside the war over motherhood, and the stigma of feeding my infant anything other than human breastmilk, and do what was BEST for my child. Because sometimes, breast isn't best.
 |
Ryker was breastfed, formula fed, and then thrived on goats milk (a blog for another time). |
There are so many woman who try their very hardest to feed from the breast, and can not. There are woman who have more postpartum issues trying to breastfeed, and end up suffering needlessly because they're afraid to put their mental health needs before 'what is best for their baby'. Some woman just don't want to breastfeed, and that is OK too!
 |
Bellamy is breastfed right now, but I wouldn't hesitate to give her formula if she needed it. |
There shouldn't be a war on what type of nipple I put in my child's mouth. So the next time you see a woman nursing, bottle feeding, mixing formula, or pumping, give her a smile. Motherhood is stressful enough without society making it harder. No matter what that mommy is feeding her baby, she is sleep deprived, emotional, and just trying to do her best! Support her and love her because she loves that baby, and is simply just trying to do her best.